Store Holiday Memories, Not Holiday Fat

The snow before January is white and crisp—take a picture and post it on Instagram.

The colors of Christmas lights radiate your neighborhood—tell a story on Snapchat.

You enjoy some holiday cheer with friends and family—tag your besties and siblings on Facebook. No, wait—you better not post that picture. Your face looks fat, and you don’t want your Facebook friends to see that you’ve packed on poundage.

The holidays are filled with magic, but that magic can often dispelled by an online sedentary lifestyle that results in weight gain. We sit on the couch. We gaze into our phones. We shop online. We get groceries delivered. We take selfies. We cook less. We gaze into our phones. We send gifs to our friends. We place mobile food orders. We post pics of our dogs, cats and food. We eat.

Did I mention we sit on the couch?

Our waistlines suffer from this introverted lifestyle, but so do our holiday moments and memories. Here are five things that will help you tip the scales and make the most out of the holiday season:

Put Down Your Phone. Interact with humans instead of interacting through a 6.1 inch diagonal screen. The offline world is filled with sights, sounds, and smells—a feast for your senses. Plus, if you go out for a day of shopping, you can burn up to 750 extra calories. To burn even more, walk the stairs instead of riding the escalators, or make extra trips to your car to drop off gifts. Use your legs, they were put there for a reason.

Do More Chores. A half hour of cleaning can burn over 100 calories, and an hour of doing laundry can burn up to 150 calories. When you get home from work or errands, a clean house and clean clothes will be waiting for you.

Eat Salads. Salads are a great way to eat more fruits and vegetables. When ordering salads, however, be aware extra calories from salad dressings—they can sometimes account for half the total calories of the salad. Ask for your dressing on the side so you can control your portions.

Get it Grilled. Sometimes the calories of a fried chicken sandwich or salad can outnumber the calories of a half-pound cheeseburger. Ask your server how your chicken is prepared; if it is fried or breaded, go grilled.

Don’t Eat Cheese. Give it a try. Cheese is on EVERYTHING. One serving of cheese or cheese sauce can be anywhere from 50-100 calories (about 20 minutes of walking). The sandwich tastes just fine without the cheese. Use salsa or mustard for dipping sauces since they are much lower in calories.

This year, embrace the offline world and avoid future diagnoses of “text neck” and smart phone-induced depression. Instead, waltz into 2020 a few pounds lighter with holiday memories posted to your brain instead of your social media account.

How to Trick the Undead this Halloween

It’s damp, cold, the last warm breath of summer whisked away with a pile of leaves. You grab your now musty jacket and sit on the porch glider, swinging and shivering, telling yourself fall is better than summer because of the beautiful leaves.

You shift your eyes away from your half-dead tree in the front yard and notice a pack of people walking down the street. At first, you think they’re children walking to the nearby middle school. But as they get closer, you notice something much more horrific than pre-pubescent teens.

This can’t be happening. You rub your eyes, and look again. The people are not children, but undead creatures—zombies, wraiths, and skeletons—floating and limping towards you. You can’t believe your eyes! Their bony fingers on outstretched arms are holding small colorful packages—oranges, browns, reds, blues, yellows—the only things bringing color to their lifeless bodies. You squint and reveal one of your darkest evils, a caloric evil you have successfully avoided all year:

Peanut butter cups!

Chocolate bars!

Candy!

The undead are on your front yard now, tempting you to binge on their treats, wanting you to inhale as many calories as possible until you feel depressed and miserable, until you feel as if you’ve gained five pounds in one day. You stand up from the porch swing, checking your hips and love handles. Determined, you shout, “NOT THIS YEAR!”

Don’t let Halloween and the annual return of the undead transform your hard-earned 4-pack stomach into love handles by the end of Christmas. Don’t put yourself through another haunting New Year’s resolution filled with promises of weight loss. Instead, use the following tricks to fight back and free yourself from the impending holiday doom.

Trick #1: Learn control

Like a famous soothsayer once said, “Control, you must learn control!” Whether you’re invading your kids’ trick-or-treat bag or eating everyone’s chocolate donations at work (because they would rather you get fat than them), the key is control. Only mental prowess and will power can save you. Only then can you conquer the undead.

Trick #2: Limit yourself

Don’t let Halloween turn into World War Z. It’s okay to treat yourself, but try to limit your candy consumption to a max of three pieces. A mini peanut butter cup is about 50 calories. A fun size chocolate bar is around 75 calories. Keeping yourself under 200 calories for a treat is okay, and it will help satisfy your cravings. If you find yourself chowing down on a sack of sweet tarts and fun-size chocolates like it’s a bag of microwave popcorn, then the candy zombies have won.

Trick #3: Balance things out

It’s all about balance when maintaining weight. You probably hate hearing that—hell, as a dietitian I hate saying it—but unfortunately it’s the truth. If you eat candy, balance it out with exercise or cut back on a snack or beer later in the day. It’s easy to burn off 200 calories—just hop on the nearest elliptical machine for a quick 15-20 minute stride, or take a walk or two around the block and admire the dead (colorful and beautiful) leaves. Or if you don’t want to exercise, and would rather be a sedentary snail, opt out of a second helping at dinner or pass on the late night soda, chips, pumpkin ale, or goblet of wine.

You have a long haul ahead of you this holiday season. It’s important to get off to a good start. There’s a big fat turkey with cheesy potatoes and pumpkin pie waiting in the wings, only to be followed by calorie-laden holiday parties filled with grandma’s Christmas cookies and ginormous feasts large enough to feed the city of Whoville instead of a family of four. Without a little discipline, it’s easy to gain 5-10 pounds in two months. Over your lifespan that adds up—and if you’re not careful—you’ll be 70-years-old and 300 pounds, and the undead crawling up your front yard won’t be holding candy, they’ll be holding heart and diabetes medication.